Sad? Find Your Peeps!

Hello, darklings! 

Hiding from others so they’re not annoyed by your gloom is not a healthy way to handle depression. 

Nobody wants to be the downer at a party, true. There is social pressure to put on a performance of cheer for other’s benefit. We also don’t want to be a toxic presence, bombarding people with unsolicited whining.

But let’s be clear on the difference here. There are two different kinds of people: The people who shy from human contact because they don’t wish to cause sadness or annoyance, and the people who constantly complain about others, seeking drama and martyrdom. One is worried about causing harm, the other recklessly causes it. 

If you’re the first type, withdrawing from others often adds to the issue that is causing you to withdraw. (If you’re the second, I’m sorry to say that nothing will help until you can correct your toxic pathway.)

Nearly everyone experiences depression at some point in their life. Most people just get in funks. They let the doubt and negativity creep into their minds. They lose confidence and happiness. For chronic depression sufferers, it’s a fight between normal levels of malaise and the deep chasm that makes leaving the bed a challenge. 

Sometimes you can manage out of that on your own. Sometimes, you need a professional, maybe even a prescription. Sometimes you need to people. 

You always need community.

I went to a social gathering recently. I had dreaded it all week, not feeling like I was up for company and not wanting to drain or be further drained. A small percentage of the time, going out doesn’t help. But most of the time, it does. Even if I have to force myself to go, it helps.

Sometimes the best way to get out of your bad headspace? Is just being around other heads. 

We all need that at times, unless you’re a very oddly wired hermit. We don’t exist as islands. We need to bump against other people. We need to communicate. We need connections. Conversing with people who differ from us helps, especially those who fascinate with their presence, thoughts, and actions. 

So if you have writer’s block and depression, that may be the time you need to seek human company the most. 

And as a writer, you need a community. If you've not found your writing community, seek it out. You need someone who gets that writing is difficult and imposter syndrome needs a regular beating. You need someone that is in your corner who wants you to succeed. If your group is not cheering you on and rooting for your success, find a new community. 

I’m not saying it’s easy to find a positive community. It’s a lot of work and luck at times. There are some really toxic groups out there, both online and in person. If you’re in their corner, but find they’re not in yours when the time comes, bounce. Life is too short for that kind of drama. 

It is a common key to success: Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed. Cut out or set strict boundaries with anyone who does not.  And when you are sinking in the sadness, turn to those who will lift you.

Flock together, corvids. Caw each other on. It's the best way to fly.

Working On: 

Rewriting and editing a short while picking at the vampire story. I’m also refilling my muse pool by reading more. 

Research History This Week That May Have Put Me on a List (or confused whoever monitors me): 

• Fixing broken noses

• Sanskrit audio

• Drone flying laws

• Penicillin development and dosing

• Vaccine and disease timelines from 1800’s on

• Maternal mortality rates during birth 1800’s on

• Light therapy for nerve damage

Writing Whoops: 

• When you accidentally type bicycle instead of motorcycle, so give your readers the laughable image of a bunch of grizzled men with beards and tattoos in black leather on ten-speeds. 

Things my AI bot has overheard: 

• “I can still get two fingers in. They’re not choking.”

• “By the way, that is not pee around the toilet!”

• “He’s close to two milk jugs heavy.”

• “You accidentally filled the dirty side.”

• “Falling on the floor will not save you, tater tot. I just swept.”

Beasties Update: 

I had to say good bye to my eldest cat, Shouki, recently. She was 16 and became sickly some months ago. I saw to her comforts and watched her for signs of pain. She stopped eating, and I knew it was time. She padded over the rainbow bridge the next day. 

She was such a good little, shy kitty. I was honored to rescue her and be her pet parent for so long.

Watching, Reading, Playing: 

We finished reading Frankenstein in our classic reads. It was fun speculating on details the book didn’t give, including what the Creature truly looked like. 

I also read Red Rising by Pierce Brown. I’m a slow reader, but I finished that book in two days. I was just captured by it completely, and it was invigorating to read something again that made the words disappear, replaced by imagery and sound in my head. 

Still playing Doom: Eternal. I’m not very far in it. Some of the jumping, platform puzzles frustrate me, but otherwise, it’s pretty damn fun.